Licoln's Gun

fe fi fo fum,
i stole lincoln's gun.

after losing his senatorial election, james dé frenchie (r-tn) swore vengence upon both chambers of congress. in a recent visit to lincoln's tomb, james was quoted as saying "he always said i'd have to pry it [lincoln's epic pistol, or the lep as it is becoming known by right wing cluts] from his cold dead hands...turns out he was right. uhah-ha"!

leeeep! (with an e)

since sweeping aside the competition, james issued a press release stating quote "if you continue your liberal policies, i have a very specific weapon that makes me a nightmare for people like you. if you join the gop now, that will be the end of it. i will not look for you; i will not persue you. if, however, you continue to kidnap the american way of life, i will find you, and i will lep you". this has become emblematic of dé frenchies' demenior. he has been known to interrupt congressional meetings by forcing his way to the podium only to brandish his lep in a highly sexualized fashion. fellow republicans have been reported as saying "we know he's a little rough around the edges, but what can we do? he's the future of our party".

while never having been elected to congress, he is currently representing 14 states, sits on all committies, and demands daily reports from nancy pelosi and harry reid, demands which they readily comply with.

when questioned about dé frenchies' tactics, obama was reported to have said, in typical fashion, "we are not the red states or the blue states, we are the united states of frenchie, ahem, american". he then hastily excused himself.

although having been known pubically to have killed over 20 people, he has never been accused of any crime. when asked about this, the attorny general's office issued a statement saying, "have you seen the guy? you arrest him"!

a short story (or propaganda) from the road. nyc here we come!

Awesome Paper

Apparently most people have seen this already buuuut just in case...i sincerely wish i had handed in this paper.

Japanese Train Underpass

Creative.

making popcorn with cellphones

my mom actually emailed this to me so that i would text more and make less phones calls and fry my brain with microwaves. its pretty ridiculous though

Pop Corn téléphone portable micro-ondes
by sassiere

Creedocide

Rat problem? Religion solves all:

Important Things with Demetri MartinWed 10:30pm / 9:30c

Power - Creedocide

Joke of the Day
Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games
More Funny Videos

Did you know?

Hey all!

I'm sure everyone saw this awhile back but if not...kinda cool, kinda creepy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMcfrLYDm2U&feature=related

SKANKY!

Being a skank is a lot harder than you'd think.....

makin' posters

Photo 62, originally uploaded by microchip128.

we made some posters for james' run at world domination (or something like that). artists include kristian, mala, and charlie. james des cognets...kids love him! (click on the photo to see the rest of the posters)

Chirping Bird Circuit Fun

per annie's request, i present you with my first blog post! just listen to them birds sqawk. aww yeah!

Stories from my students...

So, as a quick overview, I am currently teaching high school special education English courses at a nice little rural school called Harpeth High School in Kingston Springs (Cheatham County) in the glorious state of Tennessee. 

I have three classes. First period is a freshmen English I class with about 17 kids.  Second period is an English II class with 7 students. Fourth period is an English II class with 3-4 students.

These kids are pretty ridiculous, but awesome.  They often entertain me with great stories and comments.  They also tend to say some absurd things...

"Ms. Dennison, are those the new kids?  Aren't they beaners?"

"What? You seriously just said that? Do you know that is a racial slur?"

"It is? Well, what are we supposed to call them, then? Mexicans??"

"Yes. They are from Mexico. You should call them Mexicans."

These are the fourteen year old kids that will one day grow up to lead the world... or something like that...

Bollocks for Pollock!

I've always wanted to be a famous artist, but apathy was a bitch and got in my way. Joke's on apathy now!

http://www.jacksonpollock.org/

shea depleted

Hmmm...now that sounds pleasurable II.

Parker Super Lube - For O-Ring Lubrication

Vente Au Maroc

It is really fucking strong super glue. Who wants their dick permantly in a hole?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I'm her mom! No she's not...

so who's ready for some road "trippin"??? HUH??? HUH!??!?!?!

This is too good to be true . . .

BerkeleyStarcraft.com

OREGON EFFIN TRAIL!!! some froyo for yall mofos.

now available to be played here:
http://www.virtualapple.org/oregontraildisk.html

Here are some of my more memorable tragedies along the way:



Whatevs yo. It's my first time playing in over 10 years, but I have a feeling that I will be addicted to this for the next week or so. Post your scores!

An argument:

Premise 1. How many times have you been using a computer, and something inexplicably doesn't work. The best solution to these problems is to close the program, or reboot, and then do the exact same thing again. Often, doing this fixes the inexplicable problem.

Premise 2. Einsten once defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

Inescapablely logical conclusion: TECHNOLOGY IS MAKING US TEH INSANE!!!1

wiley, we may have to get this shit

Little Kid Stoned

I think this is how I started out:


Stoned Little Kid After Dentist Visit - Watch more free videos

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise

Evidence that people think finding Chuck Norris is more important than finding a job. This bodes well for the American economy...

BONNAROO 09 LINE-UP!!!!!!!!

With Beastie Boys and Snoop playing, how can I refuse?


The Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival 2009 Lineup:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Phish (2 Shows)
Beastie Boys
Nine Inch Nails
David Byrne
Wilco
Al Green
Snoop Dogg
Elvis Costello Solo
Erykah Badu
Paul Oakenfold
Ben Harper and Relentless7
The Mars Volta
TV on the Radio
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Gov’t Mule
Andrew Bird
Band Of Horses
Merle Haggard
MGMT
moe.
The Decemberists
Girl Talk
Bon Iver
Béla Fleck & Toumani Diabate
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Galactic
The Del McCoury Band
of Montreal
Allen Toussaint
Coheed and Cambria
Booker T & the DBTs
David Grisman Quintet
Lucinda Williams
Animal Collective
Gomez
Neko Case
Down
Jenny Lewis
Santogold
Robert Earl Keen
Citizen Cope
Femi Kuti and the Positive Force
The Ting Tings
Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Kaki King
Grizzly Bear
King Sunny Adé
Okkervil River
St. Vincent
Zac Brown Band
Raphael Saadiq
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Crystal Castles
Tift Merritt
Brett Dennen
Mike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue
Toubab Krewe
People Under the Stairs
Alejandro Escovedo
Vieux Farka Touré
Elvis Perkins In Dearland
Cherryholmes
Yeasayer
Todd Snider
Chairlift
Portugal. The Man.
The SteelDrivers
Midnite
The Knux
The Low Anthem
Delta Spirit
A.A. Bondy
The Lovell Sisters
Alberta Cross

MORE ARTISTS TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!