Saturday, February 28, 2009

Licoln's Gun

fe fi fo fum,
i stole lincoln's gun.

after losing his senatorial election, james dé frenchie (r-tn) swore vengence upon both chambers of congress. in a recent visit to lincoln's tomb, james was quoted as saying "he always said i'd have to pry it [lincoln's epic pistol, or the lep as it is becoming known by right wing cluts] from his cold dead hands...turns out he was right. uhah-ha"!

leeeep! (with an e)

since sweeping aside the competition, james issued a press release stating quote "if you continue your liberal policies, i have a very specific weapon that makes me a nightmare for people like you. if you join the gop now, that will be the end of it. i will not look for you; i will not persue you. if, however, you continue to kidnap the american way of life, i will find you, and i will lep you". this has become emblematic of dé frenchies' demenior. he has been known to interrupt congressional meetings by forcing his way to the podium only to brandish his lep in a highly sexualized fashion. fellow republicans have been reported as saying "we know he's a little rough around the edges, but what can we do? he's the future of our party".

while never having been elected to congress, he is currently representing 14 states, sits on all committies, and demands daily reports from nancy pelosi and harry reid, demands which they readily comply with.

when questioned about dé frenchies' tactics, obama was reported to have said, in typical fashion, "we are not the red states or the blue states, we are the united states of frenchie, ahem, american". he then hastily excused himself.

although having been known pubically to have killed over 20 people, he has never been accused of any crime. when asked about this, the attorny general's office issued a statement saying, "have you seen the guy? you arrest him"!

a short story (or propaganda) from the road. nyc here we come!


  1. Have fun in NYC guys!

    (James, spread the word of your party via mad persuasive karaoke)

  2. lincoln's guns. down my throat. all the time.